DERMOTT’S WILD LIFE

If you know Derm, you know I’m a crazy guy. I’m a little bit wild. I’m out there in left field with my back to home plate. I’m living on the edge. Life is indeed a highway, and nothing pleases me more than riding it all night long. I can’t drive 55, and I try not to let the sound of my own wheels drive me crazy. In short, I’m hot, sticky and sweet, from my head down to my feet (yeah).

…Where was I? Oh, yes: my point is that I do some things that the “squares” might consider a little bit crazy, a little bit country, and/or a little bit rock ‘n roll. I talk to strange African men on the subway, and I push the homoerotic envelope even further by giving said African men my email address. I lock my keys in my apartment and, instead of making a simple toll-free call and having a cup of coffee while I wait for assistance, I walk clear across the borough of Brooklyn on some sort of bizarre odyssey of self-discovery. I have no television, and I don’t really remember why. I went months without a cell phone, and if you saw a solitary, emaciated man using one of the few payphones still left in this crazy town, you could bet it was me. I’m off-kilter; I’m not your Grandma’s B-list radio personality.

Having said all that, I have to tell you about yesterday. True to form, I did something a little bit out of the ordinary. I met up with a young couple who are fans of the Lionel Show and are visiting NYC from New Mexico. Now, I know what you’re thinking: this man and woman are either a Bonnie-and-Clyde-esque serial killer team, or else a pair of depraved sex addicts hoping to gorge themselves on the delights of my hard, angular body. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was not physically harmed in any way, and when I attempted to initiate sex with both parties I was soundly rebuffed. I kid, of course.

The truth is they were a wonderful, intelligent, articulate couple who happen to love the Lionel Show and just wanted to say “hi”. I was happy that I looked death and molestation in the face and accepted their invitation to meet up. They were full of interesting stories about local Albuquerque “crazies”, unique insights into the show, and just general good conversation. I felt guilty about assuming they were a pair of lunatic mouth-breathers addicted to the quick rush of talk radio. They were normal folks like you and me (well, you anyways).

What’s the point of all this? Simply put, there is no substitute for good old human interaction. In this day and age, with these crazy kids and their “electronic mail” and “textual messages”, it would have been easy for me to email back and forth with these folks and avoid ever looking them in the eye or having an actual conversation. The more we recede into technological communication, the easier it is to avoid real person-to-person interaction; and the more we avoid it, the more we come to fear it. But I’m glad I took the time to meet them; it’s nice to know that there’s folks out there who really get the show and enjoy the group spirit and collaboration that we try to put across on-air. I for one refuse to be afraid. I embrace my fellow man and woman! I will not sequester myself in some sort of virtual reality, protected from the visceral slings and arrows of human existence! I am the voice crying in the wilderness “I LIVE! I BREATHE! I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Ahem.

So, today’s blog and today’s show are dedicated to proud New Mexicans Jeff and Danny (forgive my spelling if I’m spelling that wrong). You guys are the reason God made Oklahoma.

Sincerely,

Dermott