Repo Ahoy, Matey!

There are some jobs that must be tough on the old self-image.

Lately, I’ve had a hard time with the army of meter maids spreading joy on every street corner in New York. Its an alternative congestion pricing plan. There are other more objectionable lines of work, of course. There’s always the bails bondmen, ropin’ em up, and bringin’ em. But now, more prevalent than ever, is the repo man.

These days its not only the family car that we’re seeing hauled away in the wee hours, for non-payment. Its another casualty of the
free-wheeling lending spirit that is now a faded memory. Its our “Jersey Girl”, or “Aquaholic”, or “A Wave from it All”. Aye, captain. It’s the family boat.

The refinancing craze drove the recreational boating industry, and we saw a 40% rise in luxury cruisers, miniyachts and sailboats from 2000 – 2006. The average loan tripled to $141,000. Now, these “Chickens of the Sea” have come home to roost. Home equity has fallen off a cliff, boat sales with it. Gas prices pour fuel on the fire. Boats make Hummers look energy efficient.

And so these are the salad days for the repo men. Economic downturns always are, but this one especially. The leverage was unlike anything ever seen. Repo operators have expanded, some have grown to double or triple in size. I can’t wait until the boat
foreclosure ads start hitting late night TV.

The stories offer tragic human interest, riveting reality TV content for those of us who relate. Misery loves company, ya know. Some of the fools among us learn the hard way. Some repo men have actually repossessed the same boat, from the same owner, 3-4 times.

As in any financial decision gone wrong, there are often a number of contributing parties. Often, its a salesman talking an owner into an upgrade, a middle class family overextending itself.- no one thinking about the inevitable real estate market decline, the inevitable “economic slowdown”. Responsible guidance nowhere to be found- it was certainly not going to come from mortgage brokers or boat salesmen. We’d been ill-advised, but we are ultimately responsible.

And when the boat goes, and the home/condo goes, and the 401K is depleted, we may finally wake up and get it- that the ocean looks the same from any deck; that all we’ve done is weigh ourselves down with an anchor that we couldn’t lift;, and that in the process, we’ve risked our retirement, our kids education, and the comfort of a life without sleepless nights.

And finally, we’ll realize that we’ve just watched too much TV. Now we’re players in the mini-series to end them all - the end of an American Dream.

Check out Marc Sussman's Money Message every weekend on Air America and across the country.