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THE TELEVISED EXECUTION OF KEVIN JAMES: IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE TO KNOW ANYTHING TO BE A CONSERVATIVE TALK SHOW HOST

By Lionel

I know, I know. I laughed too. I absolutely loved seeing Chris Matthews eviscerate the pathetic conservative shill and mindless Bush acolyte, radio talk show host Kevin James, now the subject of national ridicule and the butt of jokes, much deserved at that. First, we’re not talking about this guy; it’s this guy.

How deserved, indeed. A man who went viral on YouTube instantaneously and enjoyed the fastest Wikipedia edit ever. Bless his heart; it was painful. From now on, this incredibly embarrassing moment will append this poor guy’s bio. Forever branded, perpetually tattooed with this incredible made for TV moment. I saw it live and wanted to bathe afterwards. It was like watching an Ali G interview but for real. Fox should included it in a summer replacement show “Interviews Gone Bad.” I was thinking My Lai, Kitty Genovese, name it. Throw in the towel, Kev! Somebody stop this mauling! Just give up.

Nah! Who am I kidding? I loved it. God, it was great. Schadenfreude. Watching this counterfeit conservative twist in the wind as Matthews begged him just to explain what the juxtaposition was between Obama and Chamberlain. Or at least to explain what Chamberlain did in the first place. Did he even know who Chamberlain was? Or which Chamberlain? (Dr. Kildaire or The Stilt?) Look, I’m sure Matthews is up on his Sudetenland history. I’m sure Munich Pact trivia is on the tip of his tongue. But most of us have at least a passing knowledge of the historical moment. We can see in our minds Chamberlain flashing that sheet of paper, his agreement with Hitler. But most of us would still brush up just a tad on our history before going on TV against the conservative-slayer Mark Green and Matthews himself. Especially when we’re told by a producer what the topic will be hours in advance. What was this guy thinking? I’ve been on these shows a bunch of times and in every instance a producer will email you page after page of background information on the subject. You’ve got hours to prepare. You just don’t walk in and think you can spew drivel and that it will work. This isn’t a conservative radio talk show that’s screened to avoid the slightest chance of being upstaged. People will challenge you. Sentient and informed people, that is, and not the mindless conservative acolytes who comprise your de minimis audience nod along in an hypnotic obeisance.

And why do I get the feeling that this clueless dude was on the phone immediately after his being violated, calling his friends and relatives with a gleeful yet clueless “Did you see me? I was great! National TV! Top of the world, Ma!” How sad. Look, Kevie Boy, are you out of your mind when you forget that we’re in a YouTube generation? Didn’t you see the 15 year-old “Inside Edition” clips of Bill O in a grand conniption meltdown? Channel 4’s Sue Simmons and her F-bomb moment? If it’s mildly entertaining, it’s plastered on the Internet. What were you thinking? And you were a lawyer, a prosecutor, no less. I trust you never showed up to court this unprepared.

He's now the poster boy for what’s wrong with conservative talk radio, not talk radio, but conservative talk radio. This cat never bothered to at least Google “appeasement” and refer to Wikipedia like everybody, and I mean everybody, else. You’d think that when he was told by an MSNBC producer that his presence was requested on “Hardball” with Matthews and Mark Green, a most formidable opponent I might add, he’d at least know what appeasement was and which one they were talking about. Didn’t he at least have the slightest curiosity as to what this concept was? Did he think it was an obstetrical procedure? (Get it? Episiotomy? Appeasement. Ahem.) Green was brutal when he admonished Mr. James that when one finds himself in a hole, it’s best to stop digging. Ouch! Funny, watching James I kept thinking of a certain classic sitcom.

Now I don’t know who this feller is -- never heard of him. And that’s not saying much. With 9043 active radio talk show hosts and all but 12 bumper sticker conservatives, it’s easy to lose track of who’s who. But I know their shtick: open the play book and recite by rote the party line. Chant the mantra. Bush is good, Republicans are good and Democrats want to facilitate terrorism. They’re effete and impuissant and want to hand Israel to Iran. Forget the fact that Dubya’s negotiating with Iran as we speak. And forget the fact that we’ve spoken with North Korea and Kim Jun Il who possesses WMD and “nucular” weapons. We’ve negotiated with Qadafi anent Lockerbie. (Quick. How many ways can you spell Qadafi? Answer: 83.) Bush 41 spoke repeatedly with Assad of Syria to get him on board regarding the first Gulf War. Nixon negotiated, note, negotiated and not merely spoke with China and the Soviet Union during Viet Nam when said countries were directly providing money, support and materiel to our enemy. Reagan and Nixon negotiated with the Soviet Union when they had nukes pointed at us. Nothing got in the way of discussion, negotiation and diplomacy.

So, what was Kevin James thinking? Nothing. And here’s the point.

Sorry for the length. -Any

Sorry for the length.

-Any concern of the past that does not present itself as a concern of the present threatens to disappear irretrievably into memory- WB